But then I found a pamphlet. A fellow named John Barger, just five months after the death of his wife, Susan, had given a talk to a men’s group about what it means to be a husband. “Do You Love Me?” had been reproduced in pamphlet form, and one day at the office, I picked up a copy from Jim’s desk and sat down to read. I had tears in my eyes when I finished: here was a man who understood, who reaffirmed and validated, everything I had longed for in my marriage with Danny – ideals of heart-companionship and partnership – everything was laid out in black and white, right there in that pamphlet.
Something stirred in my heart. I knew Catholics were consistently faithful in their pro-life testimony, even though the mainstream Protestants were becoming increasingly accepting of abortion, of homosexuality, sexual license in all forms as well. I realized that the Catholic Church was the only large Christian group that had consistently held on to the old moral values. And I respected that. Admired it. And now, through this little pamphlet of John Barger’s. I began to be aware of the great idealism with which the family is honored by the Church – and of the Catholicity of the ideal I’d thought unique to Quakerism: the sacramental quality of all of life.