Ouch! Mary-T, a.k.a. "canon law Mary" - handed me a whammy last night. We were talking about our mutual frustration with a particular web site, when she said, "You know what? I'm just going to have to quit going on there. Whenever I talk to you or anyone else from the site, it's 'what's going on with so-and-so...?'" and all we do is gossip. It really is a near occasion of sin for me!"
And I feel so embarrassed, because she's right. It's a milieu that fosters gossip and criticism and fault-finding and - for me, the smug sense of how much smarter and more sensible I am that other women (and a lot of the men).
For instance: right now there is a thread in which a woman jokes about buying a couple of new coats for her new northern home (she's from warmer climes, originally); the thread develops into a discussion of the "luxuries" considered "necessary indulgances" by the women - be it clothes, cosmetics, books, etc. -
- and I think, y'all are talking about spending more for a damn purse than I can bring home from either of my primary jobs in a month's time!" and I feel self-satisfied that I have no such need for something as vain as a $600 purse to make me feel fabulous!
And in another thread, a woman announces that she sent a man a message which he didn't respond to, so "it's all over." And without knowing a thing more than that, more than twenty-five women have jumped in that thread to commiserate with the woman about what a heel and a snake in the grass said man is for not responding to her message -
- and I think, how absolutely egotistical and even megalomaniacal it is that she should expect the world to revolve around her little two-sentence message. There are a dozen perfectly good reasons why the man didn't respond to her message. Yet. If it's who I think it is, I would add to the list of possibilities that the "relationship" being boasted of in the past couple of weeks is nothing more than a construct of her overfertile imagination. That means - there was nothing to BE OVER.
After all, when we say a relationship is OVER, it must first have existed. It must have had a beginning, a moment of engagement between the parties.
God preserve me from winding up like some of these people, who embarrass the daylights out of me with their folly.
Which is pride, sinful pride on my part, because I presume I'm superior to them.
I'll talk it over with Father, tomorrow.
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2 comments:
I know exactly what you are talking about and walked away a while ago due to the same feelings. I thank my Guardian Angel for opening my eyes to that.
Lisa in MI
Laura, what did Father say to you? I find it very difficult to balance charity with sense there, and to hold back feeling smug too.
By the way, I've missed your posts in that room. It's just tough when some lassies expect too much, and don't receive what they think they're entitled to from another.
I'm happy with everything attention I receive from Rob, I spent too bloomin' long feeling lonely and rejected. I'm delighted with some stability and reciprocation for once.
Sometimes it feels as though I'm settling for less when I read the expectations and hype in there, but then when I back off and go pray in Adoration, I KNOW what I have is good.
I do fear that other women don't have the same head space to discern and expect everything, immediately please, on a golden plate. The high fives and gaggles of agreement only encourage this, to the detriment of all unfortunately.
love,
Sinéad.
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