We've had a rash of domestic violence murders in the area in recent weeks. WRAL in Raleigh has hardly had a day in several weeks in which some woman's murder at the hands of a husband has not gone unreported.
Now another woman has been found murdered. Lots of possibilities, but the GOLO quarterbacks have decided the husband did it. I hope with all my heart they are mistaken -
Pray for the victims, pray for the families, and pray for the salvation of their killers.
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My daughter is living under threats with a temporary protection order. She has been forced by the reality of these threats to move from the home that was abandoned by her spouse. She now lives, with her children, in her mother's house, for as much protection as possible.
Dad, me, is helpless since I live hundreds of miles away. We speak and I pray and I cry, alone.
So much brokenness, so much hate, so much irresponsibility, yet none will step back and see their contributions, from now and even years before.
No lessons will be learned, only more broken children will there be. They will become broken adults, on and on and on. Secular and misguided religious attemps to counsel will teach sugar-coated lies and bury what is needed.
Forgiveness, repentance, restitution, healing of long broken relationships through returning to real historic Catholicism, reformation of consciences to the authentic Magisterial teachings, since all involved seem to profess that religion. All can be done but will not be done; because truth does not matter. Maintaining face and ill begotten gains are what matters. And priests accept lies, teach lies, encourage lies so where do people in these awful situations turn?
What is forgotten in all is "commutative justice". What has been stolen and the losses incurred from the theft must be returned, period. This does not ever go away. But it is completely ignored in todays Catholic Church.
Not only material things are stolen in broken relationships. Trust, the "unity of spouses" in valid marriages and the graces of marriage are violated in broken relationships. These debts are not paid and they remain owed and they accrue interest. These are not mere ideas. They are realities. No "Newchurch" priest, canonist or theologian can talk around them, although they are allowed to these days and have been for more than thirty years. These are necessary for real healing. Healing is the responsibility of ALL PARTIES, the victims and the perps. ALL.
Our children need healing and it has to start with their living parents and those who masquerade as parents. On all sides, the parents need to atone for their own sins, or their advice means little. It is corrupted advice from an unrepentant sinner. It does harm, not good. Any good which comes from such corrupted advice is only a living witness to the MERCY OF GOD!
But, I sit, alone, praying and helping as I am allowed, while all the other players, our warring children and their parents and those who masquerade as parents plot revenge, rather than looking at their own lives, what they have taught these two, what is being taught to the GRANDCHILDREN, and what the Church says about marriage and the obligations of spouses...to each other...and to their children.
But truth is ignored, so we have..
threats of domestic violence, when this was not necessary, but the brokenness of the parents, created and sustains the milieu for its continuation.
My heart breaks, alone...but I pray.
Where are the old priests who had the guts to walk into a Catholic house and tell the "parents": to shut up, sit down and listen and behave like the Catholic that you say you are? Or face it that you are not really behaving like a Catholic, so stop saying you are Catholic!
I have not seen one in years but I see countless "NewChurch" priests who do the equivalent with heresy.
Contraception is OK, divorce is OK, get an annulment rather than healing the marriage and convalidating it, forget teaching Catholic Moral Theological principles, God is the "Pillbury dough God", Love, Love Love......Love, Love Love....
Sugar-coated heresy.
As our children kill each other and the souls of our grandchildren.
I cry and I pray but I cannot make
anyone do what they should and no one will listen, no one. There is too much to lose.....only salvation.
Is this Karl, again? Know this, Karl - that while I disagree with you about the moral wrong of all divorces, I am moved nearly to tears (I never cry, so that should not dismay you) to learn of your daughter's plight. I unite my prayers with you for her safety, and her children's, and for her former spouse's salvation.
I will contact D to offer additional help, if I have anything to give.
The point of this post was Domestic Violence involving my daughter. I wanted to show that the specific Domestic Violence is only part of the picture. There are many contributions to Domestic Violence.
All need to be addressed, not just stopping physical violence. Violence comes in many shapes and sizes and varieties. Mostly, these are minimized(intentionally and wrongly) for either political or secular power, positioning or control. To fail to address all instances of domestice violence, mental, spiritual and/or physical, is itself an act of domestic violence. This needs to be understood and accepted.
Our actions lay the foundation for all these acts of Domestic Violence. Our actions, parents actions set this garbage up.
When a spouse is unkind to their wife/husband, this is domestic violence, even on a minor level. It harms. When a spouse "lusts in their heart", this is domestic violence. It builds and builds until anything can happen, but we need to see our contributions, or it never stops. They need to be addressed comprehensively, period.
Society, when it allows divorce, focuses the power to do more violence in the hands of the one who sought the divorce(if one sought it) and in the hands of the one who gains custodial control over the children. This is the nature of the legal focusing of domestic violence. This is a fact. It is horrendous injustice and is a daily occurance.
When one acts as if they are no longer married, due to a divorce, they commit domestic violence, against their spouse(and their children which almost everyone forgets/ignores), who they are abusing, period. It is a crime that never, ever, stops until there is "commutative justice" that is enforced either by the state, the Church or someone, if not both spouses.
The state can do nothing right in these matters. Their focus is politcal, always, and expedient. It is never, for the children or the spouses, that is a lie. It is for some, constituencies, political power or gain, period. It "uses" children as the gateway to control families and enables massive social engineering and its aim is to control, period. Thus it can eliminate independent(God fearing)parents and religion, particularly the Catholic Church, which is the "last" standing, independent institution against state dominance of human lives. We are on the cusp of death for families because we are allowing it. We accept divorce and those who divorce, never questioning their divorces! In doing so we do grave harm to their spouses that they have abandoned and their children and GOD will account for it if we do not.
Without "commutative justice" domestic violence is perpetual and passes to the progeny, legally, but not morally. It continues the crimes.
With marriage the ONLY WAY domestic violence stops is through healing the marriage. Any other "solutions" do immoral domestic violence.
A marriage that was invalid from the start, still needs to be healed. There are wounds that must be addressed and they must be addressed justly and comprehensively. Some invalid marriages should be convalidated, especially when their are children.
Some should not. Some cannot be marriages. Each is an individual case, but none should be abandoned without "commutative justice".
In a valid marriage, if one of the spouses refuse to addresses these injustices, the Church should speak with them and if they refuse to restore the marriage, excommunicate them and all who support them, period. If both, similarly refuse, they both should be excommunicated, after sincere, just efforts have failed. There must be an end to the violence that divorce brings and that the consequences of divorce brings.
An excommunication is not violence. It is the ultimate, loving appeal, of a "parental Church, the literal "Body of Christ" petitioning an unrepentant Catholic to reconsider their position and to return to the fold and to act to restore what they are "violently" harming.
Each case is unique. When the Church has been approached, and it becomes involved in a marital nullity investigation, it "presumes" to be in until the "end". If the Church fails to "enforce" "commutative justice" it is fully responsible for the violence that ensues, along with those who do the violence, including all parties and all types of violence physical and the rest, it is all Domestic Violence. When both spouses have been part of the annulment process, the Church encourages domestic violence if it fails to do all it can to ensure that complete "cummutative justice" has been part of this process. If the church find that a nullity investigation concludes the validity of a marriage it is obliged to share with both parties the necessity to convalidate their marriage, and to enforce it fully.
I will suffer consequences for your
intervention regarding this situation, no doubt, inspite of your goodwill. But I have for almost twenty years anyway, so what difference does it make.
The innocent/abandoned always suffer the worst. But I do appreciate your prayers on our daughter's behalf, very much, indeed and for her spouse.
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